Twitter is Down.

Well, not right now. I just thought that since it has been recently, that I’d write about it now, after all the hubbub. And, since it’s up, you’ll likely see this post as soon as Twitterfeed tweets it….

In any case, it’s my new definition of irony. Because put simply, if Twitter goes down, I’d want to tweet and tell all my friends, however, it’s down, so, I can’t.

Of course, there are other options available to let you and by extension, my followers/friends/fans, etc, whatever you call yourselves on the various social networks that you may or may not be following me on, as opposed to on which you may be following me, however, the lament would not be as effective, simply because, it wouldn’t be the same. Similar, yet different.

3 advantages to Twitter being down include:

1. Ability to get actual work done.

Ok, maybe just one big advantage. I’m sure you can come up with the other two. If you do, leave a comment. If you don’t, leave a comment about that as well.

You see, I stopped after the first one because I realized that yes indeed, the problem was with TweetDeck

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach on Christmas Day.

Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Oh, and I shouldn’t have to say this anymore, but please, retweet. That is, if Twitter isn’t down….

Stuck in the middle of Nowhere

Image via Wikipedia

A small town, just outside Redondo Beach, California.

When you’re in the middle of nowhere, how do you know, you’re in the middle? You can look around for landmarks, and decide arbitrarily, or, you can figure out how you got there in the first place.

We’ve talked about how the fork in the road may be a spoon, so, let’s look at what happens when you finally make the decision. For purposes of illustration without drawings, let’s say you take the right path, although, in this case, that simply refers to the path on the right.

So, traveling along said path, you take in the sights, the fresh air, and the vast expanse of your thoughts, and this is ok. For awhile.

Then something happens. You realize you’re not where you think you should be.  Because you’ve been on the same path for so long. You look ahead of you, and you can’t see where you thought you were going, maybe you don’t even remember, I don’t know, only you can decide, but then you look over your shoulder, and look back.

And see the same thing.

Panic sets in.

You start looking in every direction, maybe even spinning in place. Do that too long, you might get dizzy, so you stop. Where are you? You don’t know, however, it has been described as, The Middle of Nowhere.

The resulting spinning you just experienced may have created a shallow hole in the path. So, you have roughly three or four choices, which I could walk you through, but put simply:

• Go back.
• Go forward.
• Try going off the path, and blaze a trail.
• Stay in place.
• Keep spinning.

I’ve highly recommended #3 in the past, however, that may not be a viable option in this case, as you’re trying to change a choice that you’ve committed to. To which you’ve committed? I don’t necessarily like ending sentences with prepositions, simply because everybody else is doing it.

In any case of the above five(!) mentioned choices, I don’t recommend the last one simply because, the shallow hole may become a grave. Don’t let this happen to you!

You have been warned.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Once Again, It’s Time to Rant Randomly…

Ok, I came up with a cool title, that no one will click when they see it, so, I’m basically typing to myself. Tell me I’m wrong in the comment section. Thanks!!!

So, what’s going on in the world? Does it matter? Does it affect me, and in turn, you? No? Read on….

I started this current missive with a title, and no actual material to back it up with, so, I don’t know where I’m going to end up. However, I probably didn’t start at the beginning, either.

What brought this on? Or one, as I originally mistyped? Is it a typo if I spelled it correctly? Yes, of course it is, as, it’s not the word that I originally chose.

Having answered my own question, I’ll move on. Or one. Is it a coincidence that the letter ‘e’ is typed with the middle finger of the left hand? I’ll let the pundits decide.

Of course, they aren’t reading this.

But they might read, this.

How do I know this? As previously stated elsewhere, no one knows anything. Why is that? Well, the current statistic is, wait for it, 22 hours of video downloaded to YouTube per minute. Personally I don’t have that kind of time, but someone has apparently invented a time warp field generator to squish 22 hours into a minute.

And, he hasn’t even patented it yet. Try saying that three times fast, and get back to me on how you did.

In any case, randomly typing as in the infinite monkeys experiment, has brought me this far without a real point to be made, other than the following: I have followers on Twitter that might read this far.

Have I buried the lead? Of course!!! I’m not a journalist, and I don’t even play one on TV!!! I’m a guy, that has opinions, that publish online somewhat regularly, or more likely, randomly. How does this affect you? Or, will you share in this effect? That’s right. They’re both spelled correctly, and used correctly, for those of you that just graduated the Grammar Police Academy. That’s (TM) me if someone makes an aforementioned YouTube video, and uploads it.

Had to respond to a tweet. Now, where were we? I’m here in front of my borrowed computer in Redondo Beach, and I still don’t know where you are.

You may be reading this in the comfort of your own home on anyone of several myriad devices. And that might be what led to this random rant.

Clearly, they’re looking to replace Olivia. And this is a good thing, but I digress….

Which is the title of what used to be Peter David’s column in CBG. Great title, great writer, and a good book, too!!!

Hopefully, enough of you will click on that link, and then I’ll get paid. Not the first one, the second one. Alternatively, click on both, and buy the book. As opposed to by the book, but again, I digress….

I think I’ll end here, as I may or may not have another blog entry to write elsewhere, therefore, this has either been another edition of The Random Rant, or, It’s, The Law!!!

Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Yet Another Installment of, It’s the Law!!!

Several things I found out recently, and I won’t list them, therefore, Guy Kawasaki won’t read further, however, most of the rest of you might, and that’s good enough for me.

It turns out there’s this thing out there called 4square. Ok, it’s yet another social network. Apparently, you can be the mayor from where ever you update from, if you’re the first one there. It’s all pretty strange, and I’m the guy that has over 33 thousand tweets in a year, so, I’m thinking I might be an expert. On strange, not 4square.

If you link your Twitter account to 4square, every-time you update, Twitter tweets. Or, twits, as we’ve discussed previously. This phenomenon extends to other social networks. FriendFeed, Twitter, and most importantly, Facebook. Furthermore, I’m on all of them.

There’s also Twitterfeed, which allows you to direct any RSS feed that you control, to Twitter. Now, as it states Biblically no-less, it is possible to invent ways to do evil, and I think I’ve found mine….

Having seen The Law!!! kick in at inopportune times, I can tell you this: It is quite possible that there is a way to tweet once, and have it circulate around the Twitterverse, forever.

I just haven’t found it yet.

Adjust your expectations accordingly, and as always, Please, Retweet.

If you haven’t already.

The Experiment, One Year Later….

I’ve talked about here and elsewhere, mostly on Twitter, before. I’m declaring today the one year anniversary of, The Experiment.

3 Things you need to know about it:

• It’s not over.
• I will never tell you what it is.
• It’s been a success, so far.

You may have why questions, which I may or may not answer. If you’ve been following me on Twitter during this time, you have have hints as to what it is. However, it’s my contention that explaining the experiment will taint the results.

So, we’re in a conundrum, of sorts. I’d like to enumerate my success, but at the same time, if I do, I’ll violate my rules. And we can’t have that, can we?

Adjust your Expectations Accordingly.

There Are Only 24 Hours in a Day…

Image via Wikipedia

Facebook is the bane of my existence, not to be confused with Bane, the Batman villain that broke his back. Read BATMAN: KNIGHTFALL
for more on that.

Why, you ask? Or, maybe you didn’t, and I’m typing to myself, which gets lonely. I have a wife and two kids, allegedly. One of which has not yet fallen into, The Facebook Zone!!! as my alleged wife and daughter have.

What does this mean to you, the home viewer? Less time for me, online. Which translates to less tweeting, less blogging, and less writing. None of these are good things. For me. You may believe different, which is certainly your right, which would be, my left.

How to fix? As you know, I need to give the illusion that I’m online all the time, as opposed to the allusion that you perceive. I hope I’ve used that word properly. It may be time to again state, Twitter has destroyed my writing ability.

The answer my friends, is not indeed blowing in the wind, but simple: Change my sleep pattern. Back to what it was, when I started, The Experiment.

Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Please, Retweet.

How I Tweet…

Image by Kevglobal via Flickr

Not to be confused with how you tweet, because, I don’t know how you tweet. Or why for that matter. The how, may tell you the why, and might give you some insight into, The Experiment. Or at least, be good for a laugh, as I know I have only three readers here.

I don’t know how this became the blog where I write about Twitter, but it is the idea that I have mastered, so, here goes: I type 55 words a minute, with only 2 errors. This is up from my middle school typing speed of 35 words a minute. I always added ten back then, as I was trying to impress a girl, so, if anyone ever sees Kim Sandefur, tell her she won.

At 140 characters or less, combined with my typing speed, I could crank out two tweets a minute, if I so desired. Most that follow me that won’t read this say that I do indeed tweet at least twice a minute, maybe more, I don’t know, as I don’t count, having never actually timed it myself. I’m sure the fine folks at Twitter have these stats, but they aren’t necessarily sharing them. At least, with me. Oh, I know my tweets are being graded as well, and I’ve spoken of that in the past both here and elsewhere. I get almost an A+ for my tweeting efforts, and I didn’t even study.

I follow almost as many as follow me, and I use TweetDeck as my app o’ choice, which allows me to manage how I see and respond to your tweets the way I like. There’s a button that I frequently use for Retweets, to the point where Chris Voss has made me one of his Top RT Guns. If I see a lot of tweets in a row that I like, It’s one click, and they go out to you. This could get my tweeting speed up higher, as previously discussed.

I have private conversations on an occasional basis, however, that is a rare occasion, and it usually comes in the form of a couple of DM’s after a conversation in the public timeline. I have nothing to hide, so, you’ll get to see these conversations every once in awhile, if you’re paying attention. If you don’t care, that’s ok too. Allow me the same courtesy to ignore your tweets, if necessary. Oh, and as always, don’t DM me if you’re not following. This has generated an unfollow on numerous occasions.

I tweet about what interests me. This may include a range of topics you may not like, to some that you do. I tweet all hours during the day, and I don’t have any ‘bots tweeting for me more than once a day. I have set up Twitterfeed to tweet a link to this and other blogs for which I write, and if I post, it gets tweeted. I don’t know if this counts as a ‘bot or not. I’d like to believe it doesn’t, as ultimately, I wrote the post that generated the tweet, and it only goes out one time, so, you can think of this as a many character tweet. Yes, I’ve gone over the artificial 140 character limit. I’ve billed myself as an intellectual humorist if that helps, and my billing rate is $150/hr, minimum 2, if that helps. I have discovered that the key to comedy is simply this: You have to be funny.

So, as my number of followers increases, that’s you, and the number of people I continue to follow decreases, I hope that’s not you, The above will continue to hold true. Let me know if I’ve succeeded, or exceeded your expectations. Which you may now adjust accordingly.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

Please Retweet.

Almost 30 Thousand Tweets Later….

In less than a year. Some might say I tweet too much. Others, may not even see my tweets. I’ve had several varying opinions of what Twitter is, was, and will be. Most still hold today. I’ve posted them here and elsewhere, therefore, they don’t need repeating, however, they might need to be linked to. Or for those of you that are afraid to end a sentence with a preposition, to which I shall link.

I’ve talked in passing of The Experiment. Which continues. If you have yet to figure out what The Experiment is, then you have three choices, instead of the usual two. We’re so used to binary decisions, which come downto this or that, that we rarely consider, the other thing. Or, things. I have as of this writing almost 3600 followers that have decided to come along for the ride. Which would be an ‘E’ ticket, if Disneyland still gave out ‘E’ tickets.

I’ve tweeted about several subjects that interest me, and I’ve figured out how to tweet from more than one place. Hopefully, when this entry gets posted, you’ll see it first from a tweet that’s automatically generated. Then again, maybe not, as the last time I posted here, the link didn’t get saved to my bit.ly history. Not clear to me why that happened….

I’ve actively solicited funds for my participation in The 168 Project, which will always and continue to be my main focus. I’ve seen the work that myself and others have done as a result of this ministry, and it continues to amaze me that you can do quality work quickly to a deadline. Especially when that work is a ten minute film based on a Bible verse, and completed in a week or less.

I’ve made some good online friends, while at the same time, have been blocked by others, simply because I had one disagreement with them at some point in the past. In every case, I would still choose to follow them if I could, however, this privilege has been denied me. I could name names, however, I don’t want to embarrass them. I wear their block as a badge of honor.

I’ve discussed how Sturgeon’s Law comes into full force at the strangest of times, to the point of describing it as, The Law!!!™ I have mastered ideas, this one included. I’ll leave the thought leadering to those that have adapted the quaint practice as their mantra. Because as always, there is a third choice to the lead/follow paradigm.

A new conclusion that I’ve come to is simply this: I’ve enjoyed my time here, and will continue to do so. You may now reevaluate one of the three choices you made above. Your mileage may vary, Please retweet.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

Adjust your expectations accordingly.

With Apologies to David Gerrold….

I used this phrase in something I wrote a lifetime ago, and I repeat it here, to expand on his original concept. Which I probably never would of come up with on my own, however, the sentiment may be garbled from the original article he wrote in Starlog roughly 30 plus years ago, and may need updating as well.

The concept is relatively simple which I go into at the link provided however, to reiterate and bastardize, your workplace is either a sandbox or a litterbox, and you should act accordingly. If you remember from kindergarten, when you played in the sandbox with your friends, and everyone in kindergarten was your friend when you played in the sandbox, you built a community, roads from your castle to the next one, shared your shovel and pale, and generally had a great time. Because you were playing. In the sand.

Now as you all know, a litterbox is used by a cat, to do its shall we say business, and when it’s done, it gets out. No playing allowed, encouraged, or even available. If you’re the owner of said cat, you need to clean up after it every once in awhile. I’d quote an actual length of time here if I’d ever owned cats and had to perform this action myself, however, I’m deathly allergic. To cats, not sand.

Some of the more astute among you may be saying to yourselves at this point, ”But wait. I’ve seen a cat use a sandbox as a litterbox!!!“ It is for you that the rest of this article is intended. Simply because, it doesn’t happen overnight.

A process like that takes time. When you get hired, you’re having fun, meeting new people, adapting to your workspace, and generally having an overall good time. For awhile. This awhile could last years, if you’re lucky. However, you might one day get passed over for a promotion. Or moved to another office, or worse, cubicle. If not another location within the company entirely. Hopefully, you don’t have to pack up your family and move them too. You don’t get the raise you wanted. Someone else gets put on the project you worked hard to get. Suddenly, you realize you’re on your own, and maybe it’s time for an entirely new situation. Your sandbox has become a litterbox.

These types of things happen all to quickly in the business we call show, and for all the wrong reasons. As an actor, you may get the part you audition for, however, you might not like the director. Or, worse, you like the director, but you don’t get the part. You read for a part, and get a different one. Not necessarily a bad thing, however, it’s not what you were expecting. Remember, its not Show Friends. Not be confused with the show Friends, which was actually quite funny on  a more than an occasional basis.

If you’re not part of the cast, and you’re a crew member, it’s even worse. There is a specific pecking order on every movie set, and unless your the director, or most of the time, the producer, you’re answering to someone else. Now, this may be all fine and good if you end up in the sandbox situation described previously. Everyone works together for the common goal of a completed film, on time, and hopefully, under budget. This situation is magnified for The 168 Project, which you may have read about either here or elsewhere. There is a specific timeline, and deadlines have to be constantly met, all the while putting together a ten minute short film in week. It’s not for the faint of heart, and it’s certainly not for those who would turn the sandbox into a litterbox, simply because, there isn’t time for that.

This will be my 3rd year in a row creating a short film based on Bible verse within a week, and the theme this year is “Hearing God.” Pray that I do, and that He speaks through me, on this incredible journey, which I have chosen to undertake. Again.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Yet Another Blog Quote…

I found this fascinating quote today:

Good reading illuminates your writing.  It enriches your work, gives it a compelling emotional and intellectual depth.  That’s something you cannot pick up from reading emo blogs.  See?  I remember all this after all, but I pay it no heed.
writingtoexhale.com, Surefire – But Often Ignored – Trick to Superb Writing, Sep 2009

You should read the whole article.