Clean Jokes for Toastmasters

Matches Malone:

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no reason…. I plainly admit that I stole that one, however I had the writer’s permission….

Originally posted on Joanne Guidoccio:


Comedians are master public speakers. I am amazed at how they smoothly transition from one funny anecdote to another, using no notes or lectern. Definitely worth watching for inspiration and hopefully, some imitation.

At your next Toastmasters meeting, consider using one of the following jokes.


A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. He looked upward and spoke out loud, “Lord, grant me one wish.”

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have had the faith to ask, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking: the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific, the concrete and steel it would take. I…

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Video I Found On The Book Of The Face

Just makin’ moves….

It turns out that It may be faster to share it this way, simply because the shiny product I’m using to interface with the ‘net is painfully slow sometimes…

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); = id; js.src = “//”; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’));

Video by @Julián Bala

Posted by Ocean Reality on Thursday, July 9, 2015

So, enjoy, and let me know if you see this, etc.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach, as always ;)

Tip of the Day #29: Hall H and the Wristband System

Matches Malone:

I’m adding my thoughts here. I’m still trying to get into Hall H for the first time since it was built. What are my odds?

Originally posted on Crazy 4 Comic Con:

Wonder WomanWiththe official return of the Wristband Systemfor Hall H announced yesterday, attendees have been planning and plotting how to ensure their entrance into Hall H. Probably one of the most common questions that I am getting inundated with is how to guarantee gettinginto this room! By now you should have been able to go over the procedure of the wristband distribution as stated on the CCI Toucan Blog. If you were here last year, the wristband system was quite the change to the normal ‘running of the bulls’ associated with lining up (and camping out) for Hall H. Overall, I think the additions made to this system are good. I haven’t heard nearly as much groaning as last year and I think fans are pleased the the process is getting more streamlined. However, with any system there comes challenges or more questions. Here are some of my suggestions to…

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Should telemarketing firms warrant getting onscreen film “credits”?

Matches Malone:

I may be doing this to finance something on the current slate.

Originally posted on Finance topics, trends, & specific term sheets:

Has anyone ever heard of telemarketing firms being in the screen credits for a feature film? Me neither. And yet telemarketing firms have been instrumental for the financing of independent films for decades. You rarely ever hear about this unless one is involved with fraud or headline news like this one promising 1000% ROI in Burbank in 2011;

Here is an example of a Florida Film Fund that was telemarketing “kick-backs”;

Film producers also hold hotel seminars orientated toward senior citizens. Here is what the Hollywood Reporter says about one film producer that used this approach to market to a large audience;

Fact is telemarketing is still the primary means to sell to large audiences including; private placement memorandums (PPM’s), or debt to equity conversion debentures (bonds), or EB-5 foreign investors marketing campaigns that can take a year to complete. Regular (DPO’s) direct or initial…

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Reading together – three suggestions

Matches Malone:

I’ve been in this play, and worked a spotlight for God as well. 3rd time, who do I play? Not sure I could memorize 40 pages of script :(

Originally posted on 300 words a day:

The other day I talked about reading the Bible together. I thought I’d offer some places to start.

The immigrant. 

Ask a group of four other people to read Ruth with you, meeting once a week for six weeks. Eat supper first. Talk about your week. Then read Ruth out loud. Talk about how her life reflects difficulties people you know are facing: immigration, widowhood, in-laws, physical danger for women.

Write down all the things that you don’t understand:

  • What’s the writer referring to?
  • When is this being written?
  • What does that mean?

Take a week. Spend the week looking for answers. The next week, come back and read the whole book out loud again. What answers have people found in their living this week? What answers have people found in their digging in Scripture during the week? What have people found in conversations with people? What answers…

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European $150M film finance fund seeks qualified film production companies or independent film studios

Matches Malone:

If Bruce Wayne weren’t Batman, etc. ;)

Originally posted on Finance topics, trends, & specific term sheets:

A European film fund is now offering short to medium term loans and debt, mezzanine and 1% pm bridge finance to a portfolio of US and UK film companies engaged in production of feature films with ‘A’ list talent distributed globally across theatrical, TV, and other platforms. Loans are secured by pre-sales contracted ‘receivables’ and government-backed tax credits and rebates discounted from 20%.

The film fund prefers film budgets between $5M and $20M with firms with a track record. The fund does not invest equity and takes no box office risk for senior debt capital. Loan facilities are set up for draw down to fund production based on approved cash flows. Terms for senior debt is 12-18 months. The Film Fund also offers 15% preferential debt capital (mezzanine) based on discounting of future sales.

Risk is mitigated though a 3rd party completion bond company engaged by the fund to monitor…

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Batman-Superman Titled ‘Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice’

Matches Malone:

Or, how to make the Justice League movie, without calling it Justice League. If the Aquaman casting rumor turns out to be true, you’ve got five of the seven members of the league appearing in this film. Kudos to DC Entertainment for allowing the Nolanverse to rule the day.
I’ve always said, “Treat these characters with respect, and they will treat you the same way.”

Stay sane, my friends.

The rest of you now know what you must do. <3

Originally posted on Variety:

Warner Bros. has officially titled the Batman-Superman pic “Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice” with principal photography starting today in Detroit.

Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck star in the film with Zack Snyder directing. Pic also stars Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, with Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburne and Diane Lane returning from “Man of Steel,” Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor, Jeremy Irons as Alfred, and Holly Hunter.

Film is written by Chris Terrio, from a screenplay by David S. Goyer. Charles Roven and Deborah Snyder are producing. Benjamin Melniker, Michael E. Uslan, Wesley Coller, David S. Goyer and Geoff Johns also serve as executive producers.

Plot details are unknown.

Production will take place in Detroit as well as areas around Illinois; Africa; and the South Pacific. Film is set to bow May 6, 2016.

The title seems to hint to an origin tale for the untitled “Justice League” film that Snyder has…

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