How To Read a Screenplay in 5 Minutes

Whether you’re a Reader just starting out, or an Executive level Producer deciding on the next greenlight, you’re going to want to read an actual screenplay properly.

Of course, maybe you have a pile on your desk or in your backpack, and you don’t truly want to spend a lot of time reading someone else’s story while actually asking yourself, “Why am I not telling my own?”

So, here’s what you do, or maybe it’s what I do, and your mileage may vary; Take a walk with your current screenplay, and read the first five pages.

Then tear them out. Throw them to the wind. If they blow back, as opposed to blowback, grab them, and tack them to the end of the rest of the screenplay.

Turn to the middle, and tear one out after you read it. If you liked what you read, then crumple it in a ball, and stuff it in your pocket.

Go back into your current domicile, and throw the screenplay to the ceiling. Read only the pages that don’t stick to it.

After that, if you still like what you’ve read, then ask for another undamaged copy from the writer.

It’s at this point he’ll probably ask, “What happened to the copy I gave you?” A terse rejoinder is required here, however telling the truth isn’t truly a good idea.

Go with one of the following:

  • My reader kept it.
  • I misplaced it.
  • It accidentally got put in the reject pile and shredded, or
  • I wanted to discuss a rewrite.

That last one should only be used if you do indeed want a rewrite.

Now I realize this is the 21st century, and these days you don’t get a hard copy, and PDF’s are the norm. This allows an additional reason; my cellphone accidentally deleted it.

Now, you always ultimately want a hard copy. Because you liked aforementioned script, and you do indeed want to discuss it with the writer.

Now, being one myself, I’m going to tell you that he doesn’t believe that he needs a rewrite. Personally, I don’t believe in rewrites, as you’re just doing more writing. Some of the original may not see the light of day, however the writing itself did in fact take place.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.


Oscars 2018

The need to make predictions exists, simply because others are already doing the same thing, and there may be a prediction ballot at the event I’m attending tomorrow. Red Carpet at 330p, Oscars themselves at 5p, and we’ll see if there’s any editing like at other faith based events I’ve attended like this….

Bill Murray did this really cool bit on Saturday Night Live all those years ago, about how no one cares about the supporting roles and who wins. He had a diagram and everything. We all watched because it was part of the news segment, and it was funny.

They’re probably dated by now, however we have all these new hashtag movements because Twitter rules the world of entertainment. As we know, entertainment is something that is in a fixed form, as defined by the US Government anyway….

Will The Oscars be entertaining? I hope so, however I have little faith in this regard.  Most of the shall we say slams at all things conservative are going to take place. How to be a red-blooded Merican(sic) male in 2018 without being accused of harassment?

If I harass you, report it. Immediately if not sooner. Not 40 years from now, when more people will know that I’m famous. Better yet, do it posthumously so I’ll never know that you’ve been talking about me behind my back.

Wait! I’m going to heaven, and I get to watch the show. So, I’ll know.

Thanks for playing Oscars. I have a lovely parting gift for you.


Over A Year

It turns out there are too many places to write free.  I’ve achieved a goal and connected with a print publication that will be around for awhile, however to get paid I must write. I have daily obligations elsewhere, and there aren’t enough hours in the day.

At some point as a de facto reporter of things happening in real time, I need to take timeout to sit down and write. I guess I could turn my cell into a Dictaphone as the technology for that exists, however the transcribing will take time as well.

I’m not sure that I can upload an audio to this beast, and do that while other things take place. I know I can dictate a story here, and maybe have it transcribed automagically, however that requires actual computer time with no other things going on in life.

This problem is an easy solve, but again, real life trumps reel life.  Not enough hours in the day. Roughly 24 last I checked, and I truly only get 8 on this beast, with needing to do at least 12 to 16 hours every damn day.

Those that are bad at math can see that each day I fall 4 to 8 hours further behind in life. This may be why I haven’t posted here in over a year.

Maybe I should take to writing sonnets like Shakespeare allegedly did. Yes, I’ve been infected by The Marlowe society.  Several out there believe that Shakespeare didn’t write all of his oeuvre.

I hope I’m using that word right.

In any case, I’ll attempt to write more frequently here until such time as the paid money type work totally gets in the way….

New catch phrase pending.

I Should Write Something

I’ve been doing this for awhile now, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve come to a conclusion. Breaking the word down becomes tedious, as that’s something that I’ve been doing lately elsewhere, so why should I do it here?

Once when I was presented with the prompt in the headline, I simply wrote, “Something.” Done!

What did I achieve? Well, I get a chuckle from a select few, and I fulfill my daily clown quota. Found out sometime last century that some use the word clown as a verb. She was sitting next to me when between takes she said, “You clowned me.”

Whatever happened to my co-star of West Hollywood News in Review? I don’t know. Good times, almost well, actually over 25 years ago at this point. Video on the web wasn’t truly a thing yet, and we never really got more than the first two full episodes edited.

A credit roll today would have at least four credits for me: Head Writer, Co Producer, Star, and one other. Maybe only three. I never directed any episodes, but I’m sure I could’ve had I asked.

We wrote sketches. We were damn good too. Ivan liked them, and that means, they were in. We’d shoot video on actual video tape, complete with sync sound, and the goal was to put them up on Public Access in West Hollywood.

That’s the part we never did.

My inheritance when coach left us was those tapes. Digitizing at $10 per times 60 some odd tapes, and yes, some are pretty odd, would cost $600 that I don’t have. I’m setting up here at Team 33 Productions to DIY, well, DIM as I’d be doing it myself.

There should be a way to get the VCR to go 4 times the speed so that the Mac doing the digitizing would get that part done faster than real time. I’ll let you know when I solve that problem.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach™

The Naked Truth About Conferences

Now, if she would just let us know which hotel….


If you think people attend conferences for education and networking, you’re a fool. If you attend conferences for your career development, you’re fooling yourself.

There may be standout breakouts. You may snap pics of a speaker’s revealing slides. But the screen you’ll scan most during sessions will be the mobile one in your hand.

Certainly, you’ll meet people. But millions don’t flock to conferences for professional networking. The truth is they flock to fuck.

At night host hotels become hotbeds of hedonism. A brief escape. No kids, no spouses, no strings attached.

Shocked? Interested? I’m in Room 603.

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New Headshots

Yes, that’s right. I need them. Well, I don’t really NEED them, as I want them. I took an acting job so that I could earn them, as I was being paid in kind. What kind, you ask? I’ll let you decide.

On an ordinary day during the week, I’d be sitting at home writing, or creating, or more likely, pondering.  Musing is also a choice, and I’ll still get to do that on my way to the studio. “Hey, Mike!!! Why don’t you just take a selfie? That’s what all the kids are doing!!!”

I’m a professional actor. That’s why. Thanks for asking. I have a lovely parting gift for you.  That’s right. I’ve embraced my inner game show host.  I once played a game show host in an ‘SC student film, back when I was doing the student film thing. I should probably get back into that, however like I said, I’m a professional.

I should be paid.

I like money. There’s a song in Cabaret; Money Makes The World Go Round.  No more of this paid in kind work. Of course, being hypocritical, I won’t hesitate to ask you to work for free in my next festival entry. I’d like to think that I can raise upwards of $50K a month in order to make these things, however everyone else I know is doing the same thing.

This is what I get for being in show business.

I just saw something that said I have 81 characters remaining. That must be the headline limit, as I’m typing away, and the 81 hasn’t gone down any.

To continue, or proceed, or more likely, advance the plot, I realize it’s a business, and my only goal is to make enough with the current project in order to yes, you guessed it, make the next one.

Supporting the family is a good idea while doing that as well.  This is the part I haven’t solved yet; I need to be able to do both at the same time, which is why I haven’t made any lately.

The good news is that things are looking up.

I do have the capability of raising funds on one of those sites that allows for crowdfunding, however as previously stated, everyone else is doing that too.

So, I leave you with the above conundrum, while I solve for the following: x=x+1.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

That’s my story. Hope you enjoyed it. Soon to be a major motion picture.™

Disclaimer: I know that x can never equal x+1. It’s just a line of code I wrote ages ago when I used to write lines of code.

What does one voice mean?



Recently I’ve been challenge with a question. What does my one voice mean? Nelson Mandela is a perfect inspiration to answer this nagging question. His one voice change hatred and injustice and brought a light to many oppressed people. Did he ever ask himself what his voice means or did he just refuse to accept the silence in the crowd?

I am struggling with this question today. Does my voice matter? If it were silenced by myself or another would it matter? Do I make a difference in the sea of humanity who use silence as their language choice? I’ve tried to silence my own voice and today still dwell on it. Does my voice matter in the sea of silence when the problems are heard right in front of your eyes?

This is dedicated to many great men in my life. My father, my brothers, my son and TJ…

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