I’m a Filmmaker, And I’m Okay…

I work all night, and I sleep all day.

If only that were the case. I received an email from the fine folks who press the word, that I’ve been doin’ this for six years. So, HB to me!!!

My problem is, are, was, were, not even grammatically correct. Damn!! Time to go back to English 10AB w/Fred Doucette.

Was @Castle recently, and started playing Fizzbin with random guests, just to pass the time. I have to create a new act that I can film and submit to the entertainment committee in order to qualify to maybe perform Close-up magic @ some point in the distant future, in the only place I truly ever want to perform it.

Life is either performance art, or a broadway musical. Make your choice, and then stick to it. Use stick ’em if you have to. I told my Executive Producer this once. Two years ago. Well, maybe more than that at this point, as the fine folks in the land of 168 have changed the dates since.

I should hold Chip Chalmers personally responsible for my meltdown this season. He was the last director I asked to direct me, before I resigned to doing it myself. But Chip’s a good guy, so, I would never do that.

Others in the land of granola that may or may not be called out during this not so random rant include but are not limited to, the 1st AD, and the 2nd Unit Director.

We lost 3 hours because of this duo, that propagated throughout the rest of the project.

We had a full post production sound facility ready for us at 9a the day before turn in. We didn’t get there ’til noon. Hard out at ten pm, therefore, well, I’ve already done the math for you.   Sol7 did incredible work under the strangest of conditions. Special thanks to them above and beyond the credits they shall receive somewhere. Well, on the finished product itself. Which may be a film, motion picture, or movie.

Wow.  Artificial word count reached!!! You should all know what that means by now.

Well, if you don’t, it means I can type faster. Like this…. Except when getting a phone call from the fine folks @ the E3 after party I just confirmed attendance. For myself, and two guests. You should know who you are, however, if you don’t, then well, it’s not you.

The thoughts in the previous paragraph may be in the proper order, if not the words. Take this into account when you post your comments.

I know I’m missing something this weekend, however, I do have the capability of walking into the LA Wine Fest with my press pass from the fine folks @Soak Magazine. I should give them special thanks, too.

So, have a lost weekend, then play video games? I wonder if that’s how Ray Milland started….

A random closing phrase here, then the directives. If this were a song, it would probably be in four part harmony.

I’ve gone so far off topic in this one….

That’s my story. Hope You Enjoyed It™

Prepare Two Envelopes

With apologies to Mark Evanier, from whom I’ve ‘jacked the original idea from, in order to either prove a point, or tell a story, which may or may not be apocryphal.

It seems that in the entertainment industry, in which I may or may not be involved, depending on who reads this, there is a high turnover rate. At the highest levels, in fact. So much so, that Executive Vice Presidents in charge of oh, let’s say Television, would have a job one day, and it would vanish the next. In today’s society, with networking and golden parachutes, the individual in question would be ok, however, he would observe the change of guard, and even shake the hands of his eventual replacement.

This individual in question, let’s call him Tom, gets fired from his cushy job at the network, and at his going away party, meets his eventual replacement, Dick. (aside: punctuation counts.) Tom and Dick share a drink or two or three, and then finally, Dick asks Tom if he has any advice.

Tom simply says, “I’ve prepared two envelopes in my upper right hand desk drawer. When you get your first crisis that you can’t handle on your own, open the first envelope, and when you get to the second, open that one.” With that, Tom walks away, never to be seen again. At least, at that network.

Dick starts his job the next day, thinking nothing of it, and for another six months, everything is fine. Until one day, Unresolvable Crisis #1 occurs. Dick reaches into his desk drawer, and pulls out the appropriately labeled envelope, and opens it. The paper inside simply reads, “Blame the previous guy.”

Which Dick does, allowing him to fight again another day. This time, three months go by, at which point, Dick again faces the no win situation, and opens envelope #2. This time, the paper inside reads, “Prepare Two Envelopes.”

What does this story have to do with anything relevant to something that you may be concerned about? It’s simple. If you’re an American, you’re voting in the election coming up shortly. At least, I hope you are. If you choose not to, then you have only yourself to blame, when the wrong guy gets in office, and that’s my point. No matter who wins, no matter who you vote for, or whatever party you affiliate with, Republican, Democrat or Independent, the winning candidate will already have used Envelope #1 to get elected.

Knowing that, what should we conclude? In baseball, you usually get three strikes. Football gives you four downs. In basketball, you can break the rules six times before you foul out. Hockey sits you down for only two minutes before you get back into the game. However, the ejection process of the Presidential game takes four years minus how ever long to his first unsolvable crisis.

Now, I’m not one to predict the future, and I’m also not one to tell you how to vote. What I will do, is tell you another story, this one science fiction, about a world that knew it was doomed to extinction, but didn’t know why. What they did was, and I find this truly unique, solve the time travel problem. Of course, I didn’t realize we had one, however, before they became extinct, they figured that time traveling to the future would allow them to find out how they wound their way down to oblivion, then return to their present, and avoid and/or fix the problem.

Now, I’m a lover of irony, so, the end of this story is thus: The fact that they had discovered time travel, is what led to the end in the first place. We don’t have any such luxuries this election. There is no undo. Command-Z won’t cut it. That’s Ctrl-Z for the Mac deprived.

So, to review: There is one envelope in the upper right hand desk drawer in the oval office, and inside, it reads, “Prepare two Envelopes.” All that we have left to determine, is, who is going to read it, and why.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

Standard Disclaimer.

New Disclaimer: I originally wrote this for the 2008 election. Turns out it’s still relevant less than 3 weeks to go before this one. Who knew?!? 😉

What Do You Do for a Living?



A poker tournament in progress. Taken by me.


I got asked this the other day. I didn’t know how to respond right away, however, when I want to mess with people’s heads, I reply:


I play poker.


To which they’ll almost always respond,


You play poker?


Now, since you can’t hear the inflection in their collective voices when they respond, it’s usually in one of two ways. Either, unbelievably, as in, “What, are you nuts?” or, interested like, “Cool!”


The “What, are you nuts?” faction, herein after referred to as simply, ‘nuts’, usually walk away with a strange look on their face, after they’ve asked the follow up question with the sound of incredulity in their voice, and goes something like this, “How can you earn a living playing poker?” To which I usually reply, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” or some such other random movie quote, which doesn’t actually answer their question, simply because at its base, poker is a game of deception. And as we know, with any game, ultimately it can’t be won, it can only be played.


The fact is, I do, and it’s really none of their business how I do it. Unless, they wish to pay me for the privilege. Rates are available, and pretty steep. Just because I have the ability to teach, doesn’t mean that I want to. I feel that this reaction is judgmental as they’ve formed an opinion based on what I do, and not who I am, and I don’t need them as friends.


On the other hand, those that reply, “Cool!” usually become some of my newest best friends. People that I’d want to hangout with, when I’m not playing poker, or doing whatever else it is that I do on any given day.


Of course, the context of the question is sometimes taken into account. It comes down to where I am when I get asked. I was once at a poker tournament when someone made the grandiose statement, “There are no professionals here.” To which I replied, “I guess I’m not here then.” Now, at this point, I could’ve gotten up and left, however, I did achieve the desired effect, and took all his money later in the tournament. Then he got up and left, shaking his head all the way.


Usually, if I get asked the question at the poker table, I tell the other players that I’m a filmmaker, except as noted above. I do this, simply to mess with the players’ heads. Most of the time, if I can get you to talk about anything else while at the table, you’re not going to be concentrating on the game. It also helps that I am indeed a filmmaker, and a pretty good one at that.


Yes, there’s more to poker than life. No matter what it is you’re doing for a living, ultimately, it’s none of my concern. Tell me what you want. I’m not going to check you out or anything. There’s no background check involved. Of course, I’m not going to ask in the first place. Unless of course, I want to mess with your head, or, put it on virtual film.


Disclaimer: I originally wrote this in late November of 2008, and it was published shortly thereafter on the now defunct Idea Masters™ site. This was #6 in that series.


The Olympics 2012: The Social Media Rules

The Olympics 2012: The Social Media Rules.

Simple, right? The fatal flaw in the system should be obvious, but for the right-handed people, let me explain. I am neither a participant, worker, or volunteer at London 2012, therefore, these ‘rules’ don’t apply to me.

Thanks for playing, IOC. We have a lovely parting gift for you.


They Keep Changing….

The Rules, that is. Anyone who’s played any game knows that for the most part, you read the rules, and follow them, and play by them, and eventually get better at said game, and maybe even win on occasion.

If only life were that simple.

I’m reminded of Animal Farm, actually. The animals made what was it, seven rules that they posted on the barn, and about mid way through the book, they started changing. Subtly at first, and then towards the end, more blatant, to where they were worse off before they rebelled and decided they needed their own rules.

Corporate entities are much like this. And working for one for so long, after awhile, you think you know all the rules that allow you to function successfully within that corporation. However, miss a memo, get shifted into another department, and before you know it, the rules have changed.

And you might not find out before it’s too late.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

e You next time.

In Lieu of Actual Writing….

I present to you, today’s edition of, It’s, The Law!!!

I’ve been receiving some random tweets lately, as @replies, or @mentions for those that know. Actually, they really aren’t that random.  The latest one looks like this….

Now normally a Block and Report Spam action makes these go away pretty quickly. Tried that, didn’t work.

Sent a friendly tweet recently to the offending party. It may be a ‘bot. Ok, I can handle that. Found out who controls the ‘bot.

Got into a heated conversation pretty quickly. The next step is to report all accounts to the fine folks at Twitter, and get them to take action.

Now, to be fair, he says it’s a but that they’re attempting to fix, however, as I’ve written previously elsewhere, this may have taken place intentionally.

I will give them 24 hours to fix.

Stay tuned.

Oh, and as always, adjust your expectations accordingly.